“It is not death that we should fear. We should fear never beginning to live fully.” - Marcus Aurelius

Do you remember the scene in the movie Fight Club where Tyler threatens to kill the convenience store clerk unless he changes his life and starts down the path of becoming a veterinarian? 

Death, it appears, can be quite useful.

The scene is stirring; visceral. It’s almost impossible not to think about what you would experience in that situation… the thoughts that would race, the regrets that would sincerely inhabit you, the feelings you’d be overcome with. But then, set FREE (!!!!), now you’re playing with house money, as Ryan Holiday likes to say. What joy there is now, having come so close…

One of the things I appreciate most about my own brushes with Death is that they equipped me with a deepened perspective. Those day-to-day slights and aggravations before? Energy vampires. Now? Laughable. Well… most of the time any way; I am still human, after all

So, if you’ve never given it much thought, I challenge you to really think about your Death. The Stoics did this rather frequently, as referenced above. It’s jarring. It’s scary. It’s uncomfortable. But, it can be incredibly insightful, and therefore very much worth the investment.

If you’ve ever come close to death, chances are you’ve already given this some thought. But, whether you’ve thought about it before or not, I think it’s useful to perform the meditation. 

Here’s a reflection taken from The Journal of Humanistic Psychology, written by an 82 year old man who is in the process of accepting Death:

If I had my life to live over, I’d try to make more mistakes next time. I would limber up, I would be crazier than I’ve been on this trip. I know very few things I’d take seriously any more. I would take more chances, I would take more trips, I would scale more mountains, I would swim more rivers, and I would watch more sunsets. I would eat more ice cream and fewer beans.

I would have more actual troubles and fewer imaginary ones. You see… I was one of those people who lived prophylactically and sensibly and sanely, hour after hour and day after day. Oh, I’ve had my moments and if I had it to do all over again, I’d have many more of them. In fact, I’d try not to have anything else, just moments, one after another, instead of living so many years ahead of my day. I’ve been one of those people who never went anywhere without a thermometer, a hot water bottle, a gargle, a raincoat, and a parachute.

If I had it to do all over again, I’d travel lighter, much lighter than I have. I would start barefoot earlier in the Spring, and I’d stay that way later in the Fall. And I would ride more merry-go-rounds, and catch more gold rings, and greet more people, and pick more flowers, and dance more often. If I had it to do all over again.

But you see, I don’t.

So, if you’re ready, let’s give it a shot. There are a few different ways to approach this, but one I think works well is to use an online tombstone builder, and create your own monument. Use [yesterday] for your date of Death (no need to temp the Fates, of course!), print out your tombstone, and then just let the thoughts and feelings come to you. Write them down if you’d like, or simply sit with them for a while and just notice.

A little weird, right? Indeed it is. But doing things differently is all part of the growth process, in my view.

Here’s another investment I firmly believe in – I think it’s everyone’s individual responsibility to investigate their mental foundation and frameworks from time to time, and put effort into improving them. This is another reason why I find the Death Meditation helpful; it can enable you to see very clearly, very quickly.

Clear vision leads to crisp action, and crisp action leads to creation. It’s a beautiful thing!

Onward and Upward!

-Paul, V7